Lost in my thoughts

Tomorrow, it's the election--finally. I am so sick of all the campaign ads, of all the disgusting mudslinging on all sides, of getting sucked (or maybe that should be 'suckered') into canvassing and calling people. Never doing that again, god.

But that's not what I'm here to talk about. I could care less about the election--I'm going to vote, of course, but it's just not that important to me.

Tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of my grandpa's death.

I'm not exactly sad about his death; I never have been. Sure, I'm sorry he died, but it was so painful watching him fade toward the end, watching the strength and mental prowess he was so proud of being stripped away, slowly. In many ways, I'm grateful he went while he still had some command of his faculties. It would have broken my heart if we'd had to put him in a Home.

It's a strange feeling. Just one year. I can remember typing up a post about his death in the library of SIUE just after learning about it, and to me it feels like it should be much longer, so much has happened to me since then. I've quit gotten out of school, moved to a state more than a day away from my old home, and have been pretty much uprooted from all my friends and familiar places. I still have my online friends, thank goodness (ilu guys), but it's been a little hard at times.

But I finally got a job, which helps tremendously. My parents aren't constantly nagging me to fill out job apps now... tomorrow is my first day. I start at 4:15 in the afternoon. It's a sushi place, very small, with a good atmosphere. I just went shopping for a ton of black shirts and pants, since the dress code is all black stuff. I felt weird putting it up on the check-out counter, like I was going into mourning or something... at least I'll be wearing the appropriate color for tomorrow :)

I hope I'll do well there *crosses fingers*